Author: Allyssa Irene Salcedo Email: [email protected] Author's Note: This little piece has been written many times at many different times in my life and has stayed hidden right where I like her, in a word doc that i open like once every few months. But she is done and I love it, so I figured...who better to send it to than a special little lady I know... I hate my body but I love my soul. What a heavy thought for a little girl. I could say that I love my body once I lose ten pounds then twenty pounds when I fit into a size 12 when I go from an XXL to a Large or Medium. I could say that I love my body once I feel comfortable to swim in anything other than baggy shorts and a t-shirt workout on an empty stomach five times a week avoid carbs, sugar, gluten, dairy, and red meat like the plague. I could only say that I love my body when I was doing everything to change it It seemed I could only say that I loved my body when all I felt inside was hatred towards it. Why did I hate my body? Shouldn’t I hate it on principle that it has fat and stretchmarks? Shouldn’t I hate it that it jiggles in places I wished it were still? Shouldn’t I hate it that I was never taught to love myself as I am? What a twisted way of thinking. Why don’t I love my body? Why don’t I do everything out of love to her? Why can’t I love my body? I love my body, but I feel so badly about it. No, that is not love. I love my body, but I only wear clothes that cover it up. No, that is not love. I love my body, but I am constantly plagued with thoughts of how I “need” to change it. No, that is not love. God, I hate that I always include “but.” I love my body… stop there, do not follow it up with a “but” or “if.” I love my body, I love my body as it is and I love my body as I should have always loved my body. © 2023 Allyssa Salcedo. All Rights Reserved.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |