The Universe & the Self

Author: Regee Yalyk
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@RegeeYalyk
Email: [email protected] if


It was once, not long ago, I found myself staring at my image in
the mirror of my mind. The reflection was a "me" that was not
me. It was the me which found himself separated by a mere
single neuron in the corpus collosum. I was speaking to myself;
my other self. I found that the active me which was always in
control was actually the left brain - the one which controls the
right side of my body. I could not discount the experience. The
other me speaking back (yes I did have a conversation, one
lasting several days despite my attempts to end it), told me that
I was actually both him and me. I was both of us at the same
time. I managed to cognitively reconcile this by absorbing the
absolute meaning of what a "self" is by defining the two "me" as
a single one "me". But I could not ignore the idea that I was
never at any point the left side of my body - how could I not be?
But then, I was provided what I can only consider to be
undeniable proof - I was given a task to attempt to stabilize my
thumbs. Think of it - just hold my two thumbs together at the
same time facing each other; like two wild dogs having a
staredown and who would budge first. Wouldn't you know it my
right hand moved first. The one I was in control of (according to
this other me) was the one that budged. I was shocked. How
could my own nerves betray me? Let alone the fact that I am
both of my thumbs right? Well, apparently not.
I was given a vision that night, not more than two or three hours
following this experiment. Once I stablized my thumbs
experiment and managed to actually let the right brain control
everything, I sat back and watched a parade of closed eye
visuals stream by - like I was dreaming but not. I was being
shown something that my right brain had been holding back for
years, likely all my life - or at least since I was able to begin
planning and not willfully creating. In my case, the left brain was
the logical and planning agent, while the right brain was and still
is the creative force behind my actions. So what does this mean? I spent three days or so talking with it - absorbing what this me was saying. I learned how each of my various body functions and systems were interconnected. I learned and began applying what the logic side had learned about brain hemispheres and the chakras, and all the who'dv'e-said-it spiritual and other types of new age sciences over the years. None of it had ever connected with me the way that I'd seen it then. The masculine and feminine sides were revealed at the end of the session, with a grandmaster crown chakra eventually being deemed the controlling agent - formed primarily by the forces of the universe; what Carl Sagan might call "star stuff"- what others might call God; yet more what others might call Nirvana or the Universe or the one. I have never been fully engaged in or with any serious devout religions; I consider myself a student of them all and a master of none of them. While I may understand the principles of the Jainist monk who starves themselves and the intentions of yet still others who perform miracles with healing, I've never really 'known' what those are. I can not - but I can understand them in principle. What I've been given in my life, provided my background and the achievements I've made which will follow me to my grave - none of that compares in scale or scope to the rush of perfect existence I experienced that night. It is September 29 2023 as I write this, and that experience was about 5 months ago, back on Apr 28, 2023 - nearly to the day.
Since then, I've had some kind of veil lifted on the world around
me. I've seen how things work in a way that I can only describe
as necessarily urgent to convey to the world. I am of the
understanding that I am not some important figure in the world -
that my ability to actually use and tap into my creative brain
(right) just as easily as I use my left (now) is not a unique or
special feature about me.
But I do think I have some advantage in the way I am able to
grasp on to these concepts and summarize them in a familiar
and tangible way for others to see. I've been called a great
teacher all my life, and I have this strange innate ability to pick
up on others' gaps when I am teaching them things. It can be
work or other - so in that process of training myself to be better
at it I have gained a simple yet powerful ability to "see" when
things will and will not be learned by others. I have figured out
how to tell when someone will eventually understand what
needs to be learned and I can also see very quickly and easily
what references can be said to denote to the person that will
connect the dots for them.
In your case, Niki, I was searching a relatively simple idea on
YouTube about the ethics of choices - basically what is the point
of a choice and how do good and evil lay their marks on them. I
have always been of the belief that choices (aka decisions) are
the morally responsible elements when actions are taken. It's
not the actions per se that are good or bad - just the choice to
do them. In effect, the summary statement is that good and bad
decisions frame and forge the outcomes which we eventually
see in the world. We see bad in the world as a result of bad
decisions - of course the actions are a root cause directly, but it
was actually the choice that propted the action.
In this way, it is not ultimately any actions which are causal but
the thoughts and ideas that perpetuate them. What I see in the
world is a series of poor decisions that lead to bad outcomes. I
was so engaged with your content while it was presented that I
could only hear a voice in my head screaming "yes, this is you!
these are your words!" while at the same time hearing the
divergent arguments about morality and good and evil. Yet still
while this does answer some basic questions about classifying
choices and decisions outright, it does not ultimately lend aid
towards containing decisions in a specific bucket. Is getting a
coffee at a Starbucks to finish writing this a good idea? What if I
finished it without going to the Starbucks? What if I went to the
Starbucks and didn't finish it? The implications and possible
permutations are effectually inifinite - and infinite is something I
understand meaningfully and purposefully well.
I spoke one sentence about something I did which I will take to
my grave, and while I will not now reveal it, I can say that infinity
was a generous portion of it. I know what infinite formations of
fractals look like - how they reverberate through the cosmos
and beyond; how they reveal themselves in the neurons during
special MRI exams; how broccoli and plants look like them; how
people around the world congregate and flush through crowded
spaces; how the swirl of milk in a coffee only ever happens
exactly that way once; how writing a summary statement of my
understanding of the universe and world at large is but a peg in
the cog of a machine designed to produce more of those exact
conditions...
...how the second-person hallucination I experienced was but a
moment in time designed so that I can only ever know it once.
That day changed my life. I use that phrase to emphasize the
meaning it has for me - in reality every day changes my life. But I
digress.
Prior to those days of delusion, I was somehow always
pessimistic and left for naught; I was under the impression that
the greatest thing I'd ever achieve was already done and that my
greatest life's work would never be attributed to me (this was
and still is my wish for it, mind you). I use the word designed
here not to imply that there is some great hand at work - as you
will see this is the 'me' in that scenario which has taken on the
representative role of that 'entity' which designs. It is easiest to
speak on these things by ascribing some human-like attributes;
but the reality of the circumstance is that this is not at all the
case.
I have a bit of conspiratorial insight to share, in that it is possible
my behavior and revelations were somehow manipulated. Like
Descarte, I must consider that I am actually only my thoughts. But as such, even if the mastermind behind the veil of this
universe has tricked me into believing in something more;
something bigger than me; I can only conclude that whether or
not it is true that it is at least a part of me or that I am a part of it
- or that both are one in the same.
And that was my conclusion: it is all the same. Everything is the
same. Carl Sagen's "star stuff" was essentially correct - though
star is a bit limiting. Space and everything in it. The universe and
everything in it. But what about the small things?
How do we fold in the fabric of the atomic world into this
understanding? Surely a particle in two places at once can't
possibly be considered in this conceptual understanding of the
world and reality, right? Well - I would argue completely and
exactly the opposite. A lot of mainstream media and depictions
of science have made jest with the idea that the small is
actually just the big, but small. But I love Occam's Razor for this
one - I mean, think of it: they are the same. It's a beautifully
elegant and simple solution and explanation.
How then do we reconcile this? What if this was already found
and discovered, possibly negated? There are phrases out there:
"As above, so below", and so on. I am partial to these, personally. My reticular activating system is just wired different I guess.

tl;dr : the universe is cool


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