Blog Archives

To Be or Not to Be - A Life for You or Me?

8/28/2023

To give my life for yours is a decision I don't have to decide.

I have this constant, nagging urge to sacrifice my life for the sake of someone else's. It has gotten worse with age, and it gets unbearably worse in the moments I am most gratified. It is especially heightened on the days I find glimpses of the pleasure I have spent and continue to spend much of my life looking for. These blessed feelings always seem to slip out of my grip- stuck in an endless cycle of being caught and being lost. This is a universal experience, the push and pull of good and bad. An inescapable consequence of life. That is okay. It is what lets us know what makes these great feelings so great, anyway.

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In Memory, We Surrender

8/16/2023

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I leave for you.
Isn’t that crazy?
I left for you once,
and now I do it again daily.

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In Death We Do Not Part

8/15/2023

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There is a corpse living under my bed.

The air is stiff there. She does not need much to survive, but she needs the immeasurable to die. I see glimpses of her when I pass by the right side of my bed to open a nearly empty closet. The wine-colored nail polish, that I wore for the three years after my fourteenth birthday, will catch your eye first. The blue shoes I threw away nine months ago, as I packed for a cross-state move with impairing uncertainty, will demand your attention next. There is little else that can be seen. I do not know what has cemented her to the past, yet keeps her impossibly alive in the present. I have never found the wound responsible for her unsettling stillness.

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The Complexities of Being Sane

8/4/2023

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The moments our humanity comes through most are the moments it is unjustified.

Justification, though the word may sound slightly odd here, encapsulates the confusing depths of human emotion. It creates a clear pipeline of experiencing an unaccountable thing and attempting accountability, anyways- but how can you hold a table accountable for crashing against your big toe? How can you force accountability upon the wire that tripped you? Or the sink that won’t unclog? Is your anger fair when the person next to you breathes a little too loud for your liking? Does this disrupt your sanity? Are you sane, really, if it does?

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Sharing my
humanity

Categories

Archives

To Be or Not to Be - A Life for You or Me?

In Memory, We Surrender

In Death We Do Not Part

The Complexities of Being Sane

Sharing my humanity

Categories

Archives

To Be or Not to Be - A Life for You or Me?

In Memory, We Surrender

In Death We Do Not Part

The Complexities of Being Sane

Sharing my
humanity